Mention IT or NOT

I've been watching 'Awkward' in MTv Asia forever. And I took a lesson of it, million lesson and also good topic to talk about with friends or here. Even I don't know is someone read this or not. Just like Jenna, a girl in Awkward, who always write on her blog everyday to tells about what's on her day. Just normal girl I guess, what's made her great was she mention it into their name, like 'I was in love in Jake' or 'Matty has a new girlfriend'. I took lots of new things to learned and something incredible to do. Don't be afraid if peoples judging u for something that who u not. Even when u walked through in football field and people makes a joke about u, as me before watched an Awkward was curse on them and yelling back at them. It was not an easy things to do, even we risk on it. Honest I'll swearing at people when people does do those.
But Jenna, she always carry on and life must go on with or without their judges. Like when she had an argument with Sadie (the worst girl in Jenna's life) about Jenna's personal life, she always looks relax and threwing her anger into her blog and stills, not swearing at Sadie.
And she was very shocking when someone left a comment in her blog about New Year stuff. Maybe I'll be shocking to if there's someone leave a comments in my blog it would be great and could be used as proove there is peoples who read my blog and also understand what I mentioning. I know every person has an own statements about something and I really CAN'T makes all of this in common. Anyways, forget what I say, I really  walk away from my main thing.
And I just knew Jenna has been always be patient to face everything happening in her life, even the worst thing. I can't be like Jenna face my own problem by my self alone and I can't be Jenna at all. I need someone elses back-up, a lot. I always asked other's people statement of my problems. I know that was wrong but what can I do? I'm too weak to face up by my self. I wish I were Jenna and was in serial TV drama. I wish my life doesn't have to be this missarable. Hm, even when it's not I would be still like this, like my friends thinks, idiot. When I told to my self I'm not idiot.... I don't know. Lessconfidence.