Another Killed Conversation

I really not kinda girl who ever be brave to start a conversation, except with a girl. Girl has nothing to do with it. This is only in case 'boy'.
I even don't know why I wrote these such crazy thing. I really really want to talk about what's in deepest of me. Even my love life now is almost perfect, even that was perfect at all. I love my love life, much love than past. Now, my love life is like finding a spot to understand each other. And honestly it is not even close with all what I ever wanted. I felt like I've been through a big bullshit by lieying my self to think I can handle this on by my self. But I was wrong...
I met a boy, like I told in my previous post, he wasn't even deleting yet of my brain either my mind. Like every single memories of him stuck in me, deepest of me. I don't want those just dissappears. I sent him an email every time I was online or when this feeling couldn't keeping anymore. I just sent, I missed u.
I think that was terrible conversation ever. He'll celebrate his 16 birthday, I knew from him, 16 was a great age. I wish I was there to kiss and hug him. OMG, I missed him alot. It really could kills me to kept this.
And u know what, crying isn't such a shame.
Am I stupid? or fool? or stupid girl ever who imagined her love will catching her. I guess I am.