April's Dream

April has been like a huge memories and a lot unpredictable things happened this month, and so many surprises came over me. A lot of surprises and things happened. I dont know why it just did. I took so many lesson learned this month and i also took huge things. And, i felt like this month is being like crazy month on 2013, i have never through these before, and now i get used to it.
First thing; i have learned about honesty. Its very important like this month for real, and i started to using honest in daily life, i used to make something up to covered my fault and what i did wrong. So my team to internal magazine project is running of deadline, we became crazy and arguing against each other, like our jobdesk is messing up completly, and our work is being like kinda late.
I have no idea why those things happens and hits me that hard kinda reminds me to worked as team and think as team as well. I used to think, team is just a formal team, u know i dont think team as my co-worker, i like to working by my self and finished the project as best as i can, but i was wrong. Team doesnt seems like what i saw, seems lke differently. Team is where u can work together as team, group, and a few mind who finally gathering to discuss something out and figured out. I though if i could lobbying my self, why not? But my co-worker started to wondering, ‘are we can be used?’, and i answered ‘no, thank u, u can figured something else, i can do this by my own’. First answer they were fine, and tenth answer they like pushing me to asking their help. One evening, we gathered all five on one table, open mind and ready to take the things. I told them i was fine, finally i told them i wasnt. I was like an idiot. So they told me they can helped. So, i apologized and we are brand new team. I was always lied about the things i have been working on our project smoothly and fastly. I always wanted to be like usefull person, can counted on anything, and multi person. I lied to them that i have finished lobbying our clien, Yayasan Nasima. And i lied to them that everything is finished and just can be printed very soon. As the result is, we are getting very late. They said i cant blame my self at all, they were wrong too. Even i already knew what they did as they fault, i tried to be like an CEO on this project, CEO is always have a million ideas to their company, and i wanna be one of them, only in this case is our internal magazine, named Ecoula. I have learned that honest is neede for long term relationship, team, and everything.

Second things; time. Im ontime kinda girl, but lately i have always been late for attending every appointment, every class, even every date. Now, i started to glued time table on my wall to reminds me my schedule. And colors really help, u know every day i always glued different colors. So, those time table is useless i think, not about the money, but the benefits. I didnt really get any benefits on it and even it called as time table, it seems like just some thick paper hanging on the wall. Back to time, even my mom wondering why i have always been late for my class, it making so much sense if my class started at 12pm, then i left home at 11.30pm, but theres always something stopped me, like traffic, something lost (paper work, pencil, spidol), or forgot something i should brought. Its been crazy that i kept doing that over and over. Time is everything, im running of time so i could complish anything on time, like my college project, home activities, appointment etc. And the most priority for this year is graduating my degree fast and on time, i dont wanna be like those ‘mahasiswa abadi’, my goal studied D3 to get a job faster and easier. Seems like 2 past years, i have always dont really care about time, especially this April. My first fault is didnt attends team weekly consultation about our public relations-research, im the one who responbility to managing that, and im the one who ruined that. Second, team’s huge presentation on Saturday to clien, i was late, and cancelled L. Maybe i should have just to back the way i was.

Third; loyalty, and trust, and comitment. This is the most important things in our life. We cant live without them, can u imagine what worlds gonna be if theres no loyalty (people cheated and lied each other), trust (nothing else to trust except ur self, world is going to be pointless), and comitment. I have been going out to Peacock Coffee very often in the end of April, and theres a lot things to learned and kept. Somehow, i love hanging out to different places everyday and try to find and learn somethin out. I saw theres an middle-age man, sitting there alone with his vanilla latte/ cappucino, cigarates on fingers, and his other hands is busy typing to someone. A few minutes later, a girl seems like girl on my age appears and when they staired each other i knew the sign. They spoke english and bahasa mixed, and i heard a few words. They seems like parent-daughter. It might be those middle-age man is already married, and he kinda seeing other girls behind his wife. But other thing is it might be those man is very busy so he picked downtown cafe to meeting up with his girlfriend, or those middle-age man is working outtown and they only have a short time. Those story reminds me how man and woman who looking for any relationship type is had to loyal, trust, and comitment. Every relationship needs to be respected and known as a pure relationship. Takes alot things on it and takes huge heart ready to be facing those kinda stuff.
And my story about loyalty, trust and comitment is when B tried to cheating on me 2 years ago when our relationship is almost over and the chemistry is left the building very soon. With a 15 years-old girl named Adin. I forgive him and he said sorry. Now, we both trying to rebuild our LTC wall. Because theres no relationship will work out without them. It takes serious circles to combine them in one. Now, we have been 3 years together, all i think is he loves me, he is mine, and theres nothing else. Because i know if i thinking about anything else it forcing my head to filling up with negative side about B. I dont want those pointless thing influences me to go something bad any further. I dont have to arguing with B for unimportant stuff, small things is getting bigger if we see them on bigger point of view as well. Dont waste ur time. Now, in my mind is how we can respect and keep our relationship into next level: engagement. He planned hes going to purposing me next year when i graduate college. I love talking about future, but i have my own line when talked about future: dont go too far and dont think too fast. We know we are getting older every single day, and i started to wondering if i could live with the man i loved faster, why not? We have to believe it.

Fourth things: parents. Im not girl who always listening to my parents and follow their advices, or even listen to their future plan about me. A girl in my age or younger thought that parents is ancient. But it doesnt. Parents are the people who created me, cared me, feeded me, and loved me. So, whats better than parents? Nothing. Even sometimes when parents planning our future it might be looks overated at all. But all they want for their kids is success and happy. Success is how people describing about the theory of success according to their own dictionary. I describe success as how i can reach everything on my list. When i graduated high school two years ago, my mom told me anything and which university i might enter. I wanted to studying Communication Science at Universitas Gajah Mada, Yk or Universitas Sebelas Maret, Solo. But they wont let me. I always wanted to be leave home as soon as possible and as soon as i can. Just like west-theory. When someone graduated high school, they left parent’s home and find their own life in other city. So, i studied in Universitas Diponegoro, Semarang with my parents. I think they might planned something good for me and my future. They were right, if i gone to outtown, whos going to tidying up my room? Whos going to reminds me to shalat? I cant do that by my self all alone, i need someone i can count on, my mom. Shes been like my hero this past 19 years.

Fifth, money. My mom always said dont waste ur money. It was simple but works quite good when i purchased anything using money. I have no job at the moment, lived with parents, and recieved their money. So i read many financial book and articel online. One of the most remembered words is: respect money. if u dont, money as same as easy come easy go. That is exactly what happened to me, i cant respect money, i used them alot and alot. Money is senstive. I have to get a job soon, and make my own money from my salary. And very soon!

And this April is been golden time for me and B because we spent our face-to-face time more often than February. B started to say a nice words to me after our darkest year in one and half year. Now, we figured out the problem: GOLDEN AND QUALITY.
April gave me alot huge things, thanks April!